


Piecemeal

by chrokun (ChiaRoseKuro)



Category: Naruto
Genre: Adoptive Parent Hatake Kakashi, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, BAMF Haruno Sakura, Dai-nana-han | Team 7 Dynamics (Naruto), Domestic Shenanigans, Fluff, Humor, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Insults, Japanese Honorifics, Kissing, M/M, Umino Iruka Adopts Uzumaki Naruto, request fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-01
Updated: 2020-04-01
Packaged: 2021-03-01 01:55:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,985
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23427355
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChiaRoseKuro/pseuds/chrokun
Summary: Iruka adopts Naruto. The rest of the family… well, they trickled in on their own.But for all that Iruka didn’t sign the adoption papers for the others—they’re still his family, as odd as they are, and he wouldn’t trade them for the world.(except for Kakashi. Kakashi, Iruka thinks, wouldn’t even be worth a corn chip)Wherein Naruto brings home the human equivalent of strays, Iruka proves his status as the mother hen, and Kakashi’s good (?) name is maligned for a good (??) cause.
Relationships: Haruno Sakura & Uchiha Sasuke & Uzumaki Naruto, Hatake Kakashi & Uchiha Sasuke, Hatake Kakashi/Umino Iruka, Uchiha Sasuke & Uzumaki Naruto, Umino Iruka & Uzumaki Naruto
Comments: 17
Kudos: 553





	Piecemeal

**Author's Note:**

  * For [yabakuboi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/yabakuboi/gifts).



> It was tempting to bump up the rating because of Sasuke's nickname for Kakashi and the presence of Kakashi's beloved Icha Icha books... but since the story doesn't really contain much beyond a few insults, implied assault and mentions of blood/injuries, I thought it would be fine to leave it as Teens and Up. If you don't like any of the things I've just mentioned, though, please press the 'back' button. This was a fun little request I did for Yaba, so I'm not going to ruin my enjoyment of it by entertaining rude and unnecessary comments.
> 
> It should be noted that Naruto, Sasuke and Sakura are about 8-9 years old at the beginning of the story. Iruka is in his early 20s and Kakashi is in his mid-20s at the start of the story - so the main trio have been aged down from their canon ages, whilst Iruka and Kakashi have retained their canon ages.
> 
> Special thanks to Yaba for supporting me (and for influencing me to write KakaIru fluff after I browsed through your bookmarks) and the [KakaIru zine](https://twitter.com/kkirzine) for partially influencing my decision to include KakaIru. I'm vaguely shocked I hadn't written for KakaIru earlier... but now this exists!

* * *

The first sign of his impending doom is the porn-reading stranger in his kitchen.

It’s not _actually_ that dramatic, of course, but Iruka’s well aware that Kakashi’s visit was the starting point. Or maybe the starting point had been the moment Naruto had piled into the car with red cheeks and angry eyes, yelling about _that bastard Sasuke_ until Iruka had told him off for his language. Or maybe it’d been even earlier, when Iruka had finally passed the security checks and became Naruto’s foster father.

…Whatever the starting point is, Iruka had probably been blinded by the idea of Naruto having a close friend—a close friend he bickered with more often than not, but who was there for Naruto in a way that Iruka occasionally couldn’t be. Iruka’s formative years had been fairly stable, for all that he’d gone through the same foster care system that Naruto and Sasuke had, but it was more than their differing experiences and the different relationships they had to Naruto.

Iruka provided food and shelter and a warm hug when Naruto woke up screaming from nightmares. Iruka coaxed out Naruto’s smiles on the darkest of nights and reminded him that there was more to meals than instant ramen—but Sasuke made him more _alive_.

So maybe it’s incorrect to call it his impending doom when his friendship with Sasuke means so much to Naruto—and Sasuke too, even if it’s not so obvious. Sasuke’s _carer_ , on the other hand…

“Maa, it’s not so bad,” Kakashi hums, eyes never leaving his lurid orange book as he waves a hand in the air. “Sasuke’s safe, isn’t he? And you’re a very responsible person, I’ve heard.”

“Yes, but Sasuke’s been staying over for _three days_ , Hatake-san,” Iruka pointedly repeats. “Shouldn’t you have realized that he hadn’t been home at _all_ during that time?”

“I don’t see what the problem is,” Kakashi replies with a little shrug.

“You _don’t_ see what the problem is.”

“It’s okay, Iruka,” a new voice says from the back door, and Iruka turns in time to see Sasuke roll his eyes at Kakashi. “He’s just a useless pervert anyway.”

“A useless pervert?” Kakashi asks over Iruka’s hastily stifled snort, setting down his book to place a hand over his heart. “You wound me, Sasuke-chan.”

“But it’s true!” Naruto says from behind Sasuke, peeking around Sasuke’s shoulder to pull a face at Kakashi. “Sasuke says you have a whole _shelf_ of those books at home and that you _giggle_ over them. They’re not even that _funny_ —”

“Naruto, you’ve _read_ those books?!”

“—so, uh… what’s for lunch, ‘Ruka?”

Naruto, Iruka distantly notes, is getting alarmingly good at pulling puppy eyes—though he certainly hasn’t learned _that_ from Sasuke. It’s something to mull over as he narrows his eyes at his foster son, letting him sweat over his accidental admission for a few seconds before he huffs and turns back to the covered dishes they’re having for lunch.

“Go set the table, Naruto,” Iruka tells him instead of answering his question, and Naruto’s sufficiently cowed enough to obey him. “Feel free to join us for lunch,” Iruka tells Sasuke—and, begrudgingly, Kakashi—next, and sets about ferrying the dishes and utensils to the table.

But as Naruto and Sasuke jostle for food with sharp elbows and hissed insults, it doesn’t really _feel_ like impending doom at all. It just feels like an odd little family, one that squabbles over food and talks with their mouths full—or, in Kakashi’s case, with their mouths _covered_ —which is probably why Iruka doesn’t see it.

(he’s too busy yelling at Naruto to mind his manners while trying to confiscate Kakashi’s porn book from the table, anyway, but that’s just how his life goes)  
  


* * *

  
Having Sasuke and Kakashi over for meals becomes a regular occurrence, once Kakashi realizes that Iruka’s decent at cooking. Perhaps it’s the fact that Iruka cooks at _all_ which appeals to him—Iruka only needed to force Kakashi into the kitchen _once_ before he’d learned better—but Sasuke, at least, is helpful. He’s not much of a conversationalist, something that Kakashi maintains is inherent to his personality, but he’s surprisingly good with anything involving tomatoes.

It’s not all bad, though—even if Iruka won’t accept his money, Kakashi attempts to offer compensation for feeding them so regularly. The day Iruka learns that Kakashi’s a professional _bodyguard_ and has been teaching Sasuke and Naruto _self-defence_ is a bit of a strange day, but Kakashi’s decent enough. Lazy, eternally tardy and addicted to porn books, but decent enough.

Which is why Iruka finds himself ringing Kakashi’s number when Naruto and Sasuke bring a bruised and battered girl home.

“You’re familiar with the law, right?” Iruka asks as soon as Kakashi picks up with a lazy _yo_. “What do you do in instances of self-defence against assault?”

“ _Does this have something to do with Naruto or Sasuke?_ ” Kakashi asks in a gratifyingly serious voice.

( _if only he were always so serious,_ Iruka spares a moment to think)

“No, they found a girl—Naruto, what was her name again?” Iruka yells, careful to project his voice away from the phone’s mouthpiece.

“Sakura-chan!” Naruto yells back, before there’s a dull thud, a pained yelp and Sasuke yelling, “Haruno Sakura!”

“Haruno Sakura,” Iruka dutifully relays, the corners of his mouth twitching up despite himself. “They found her on their way back from their club activities—they’re not sure who assaulted her,” he adds, lips turning down in a light frown, “but none of the blood on her hands is hers.”

“I would’ve done _more_ than scratch him up if I had the chance!” shrieks an outraged voice, drowning out whatever Kakashi was saying on the other end—and before Iruka can so much as blink, the girl in question hobbles into the study.

Naruto and Sasuke tumble into the room after her—Naruto with a distressed _Sakura-chan!_ and Sasuke with an annoyed little _tch_ —but Sakura’s glaring up at Iruka and hissing, “Mama told me to hurt _any_ bad man who tries to hurt me! I’m _not_ sorry I hurt him and you can’t _make_ me feel sorry, so there!”

“Sakura-chan,” Iruka gently replies, holding out a hand and ruffling her hair gently when Sakura doesn’t flinch away, “you’re not in trouble, okay?”

“I’m… not?” Sakura whispers, though not without glaring at Naruto when he huffs, _I told you so!_

“No, you aren’t,” Iruka tells her. “I’m just chatting with a friend who can help us figure out what we can do for you, okay?”

“Kakashi’s a useless pervert, but sometimes he’s helpful,” Sasuke concedes—a comment that makes Iruka snort and Kakashi fake-sob on the other end. “C’mon, sit down before you pass out,” he tells Sakura, and leaves the room before he can notice Sakura’s immediate, bright-red flush.

_Kids these days,_ Iruka can’t help himself thinking with fond exasperation, and shoos Naruto and Sakura out of the room before he says, “Sorry about that, Hatake-san.”

“ _Maa, I thought you said we were friends,_ ” Kakashi replies. “ _Why’re you still calling me Hatake-san, Iruka?_ ”

A moment of silence, a quick run-through of the past minute and a bit, and then—

“ _Hatake-san,_ ” Iruka sighs, “can we _please_ get back to Sakura’s situation so I can take her home to her parents?”

“ _So mean,_ ” Kakashi whines—but he doesn’t see Iruka’s resigned and definitely _not_ amused smile, and soon they’re running over what they can do to help Sakura.  
  


* * *

  
“Iruka. _Iruka._ ”

“ _What?_ ” Iruka snaps, almost kicking down the door in his irritation—but Kakashi’s standing there with crinkled eyes and a plate stacked high with fluffy, syrup-covered pancakes.

“Well, aren’t _we_ snappy,” Kakashi mock-huffs, almost moving to cross his arms before he remembers the dish he’s holding—but as Iruka rubs sleep from his eyes and blinks at the peculiar image, Kakashi asks, “Are you okay?”

_Is_ he okay though? In the years since he’s known Kakashi, he’s never once seen the man cook _rice_ —so how does he have perfect-looking _pancakes_ for him?

“Why did you buy breakfast instead of waking me up to make something?” Iruka asks instead. It’s clear Kakashi didn’t make it anyway—

Except Kakashi’s giving him a wounded look and saying, “Maa, Iruka-chan, you can’t find these pancakes in any old breakfast joint!”

“So Sasuke made them?” Iruka asks, yawning and scratching his head. “I thought he and Naruto stayed over at Sakura’s yesterday.”

“ _I_ made them,” Kakashi sighs, shuffling closer until Iruka has no choice but to retreat back to his bed, “so sit down and enjoy them like a good boy, okay?”

It takes a moment for Kakashi’s words to sink in, but when they do…

“ _You_ made them?”

Kakashi scrambles to save the pancakes from an untimely death and just manages to keep them from spilling onto the floor—but a drizzle of syrup makes it onto the bedsheets. Iruka’s too busy staring slack-jawed at Kakashi to notice, though.

Because this is Hatake Kakashi, the person who managed to burn the bottom of a kettle trying to boil _water_ , and these pancakes are… suspiciously good-looking. Even more suspiciously good-looking than the one time he’d caught Kakashi stepping out of the shower, face bare and nothing but a thin cotton towel preserving his questionable modesty, and _that’s enough of **that** train of thought, Umino Iruka, now get back to what’s **really** important._

Like, for instance, the miraculous existence of Kakashi-made pancakes.

“ _You_ made them,” Iruka repeats a little faintly, and all Kakashi does is huff and nod back.

“But why?” is the next question out of Iruka’s mouth, and _this_ time Kakashi can’t keep himself from rolling his eyes. It’s a reasonable question, as far as Iruka’s concerned, but—

“Can’t I spoil you every now and again?” Kakashi asks with what looks suspiciously like a _pout_ forming behind his face mask. “You do so much for this household, Iruka—surely I can make you breakfast in bed just once, right?”

“Yes, but— _why?_ ” Iruka asks, before he narrows his eyes at Kakashi. “You’re not planning something, are you?”

“Maa, Iruka, you make me sound so _bad_.”

“Just tell me what you _want_ ,” Iruka sighs exasperatedly.

He expects a range of responses—more bullshit deflections, maybe, or a cutesy _Iruka-chan_ to calm his entirely justified temper.

The _last_ thing he expects is Kakashi to lean in, tug down his mask and kiss him sweetly on the lips, but that’s exactly what happens.

“Hey, there’s a _fire_ in the kitchen and all these dirty plates everywhere and— _oh my god Mom’s kissing Dad!_ ”

“Kakashi’s _what_ now?” a distant voice yells, even as Iruka shoves Kakashi away and meets Naruto’s wide eyes.

“Did you just call me _mom?_ ” Iruka wheezes.

“Uh,” Naruto replies intelligibly, horrified gaze shading towards _delight_ as it flickers between Kakashi and Iruka. “I mean, maybe? It’s about time you guys got together, y’know!”

“Uzumaki Naruto—”

“Moron, did you just _interrupt their moment?_ ”

“Don’t call me moron, you dumb duckbutt bastard!”

“I’ll call you whatever I want, _dead last!_ ”

But even as Iruka has to separate the two rowdy teenagers _before_ he can yell at them both—it’s really not so bad, and Iruka’s sufficiently happy by the time he gets to try Kakashi’s reheated pancakes.

It may be more than he bargained for, and it might be a fairly noisy way to meet his impending doom—but as Iruka steadfastly ignores Kakashi’s forlorn gaze in favour of chatting with Sasuke, he finds himself smiling for more reasons than Sakura’s near-literally _crushing_ defeat of her MMA opponent.

They’re an odd little family, but Iruka wouldn’t trade them for the _world_.

_But maybe I’ll make an exception for Kakashi,_ Iruka thinks as Kakashi tries to sneak another kiss, and takes great delight in whacking him upside the head before banishing him to wash the many, _many_ dirty dishes in the sink.

**Author's Note:**

> For further author notes and other things related to this fic, feel free to check out my [blog](https://chiarosekuro.wordpress.com/). Alternately, potential prompts and other sorts of inspiration can be found on my [Tumblr](https://chroku-n.tumblr.com/) or [Twitter](https://twitter.com/chroku_n/) if that tickles your fancy instead - or, if you'd like your own shiny new oneshot, you can request one from me by following the instructions [here](https://chiarosekuro.wordpress.com/commissions/) or [here](https://twitter.com/chroku_n/status/1241937956488630273). If you'd rather chat with me and others who enjoy either my work or my company (or both) in a more private setting, though, you can also join my [multifandom Discord server](https://discord.gg/cQrS2bW).


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